(T_T)

I already betray myself.. I let myself down..I dispointed myself..how stupid and idiot I'm.. Why I do that??????? Why????? I already promise myself, now, I have show my weakness...My stupid weakness... Why AISHAH??????!!!!!! You soooooo stupid doing that..... I hate myself doing that.... I shouldnt betray myself... Now, what should I do hah?????? What surpose I do???? the only way I have, I already betray.. Now, I dont know how.. Why this is happening???? I just wanna run........................run far far away..... than I wanna jerit sekuat hati.............lepas geram semua.....nak... I want... I want that... I want....... oh....God.......Help me....help......................

To Yasmin Ahmad..

This special person, is really meants so much to me.. I will always remember her arts, her works, her special thought about Malaysia, humanity, religion, races.. I adore her... I want to be like her.. doing something really special... This is for her..she is like an angel..

Angel

I have a dream of you I can't defined

You've been on my mind

Don't go

I feel lost, without you by my side

Lost and on my own ooo

Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Angel

Your brightest star is shining next to mine

Every night and day

You know

Stars exploded then they fade away

Then they fade away

Yeah I'm falling for an angel uuuuu

Yeah I'm falling for an angel ooo

Would you please be my babe

Come by and I lay you down

I'm loving when you say I love you too

Won't you please be my honey

I'm sorry that I let you down

Your eyes are breaking my heart in two

Break my heart in two uuuu

Angel

May the one above us keep you safe

For the rest of day

If he knows

How I love the smile all on your face

When you here to stay

Yeah I'm falling for an angel ooo

Yeah I'm falling for an angel yeahhh x 3

(sing by Atilia in OST Talentime)

click here to listen it

HoPe

I hope that our love will last forever,

I hope that we always love each other forever,

I hope that we always be together,

I hope that we live happily ever after,

I hope that we will be strong everything there are the hard time,

I hope that we will married and have children together,

And I still hoping.................

How Long?

How long this love will last? This question I keep ask myself. Semakin lama semakin kerap.

Ini sebab situasi yang kami hadapi sekarang. Kami tidak menjadi seperti dulu lagi. Banyak berubah, tak macam mula-mula bercinta dulu. Rasa hangat cinta tu dah semakin kurang.

Si dia juga sudah berubah, seperti tidak ambil kisah pasal perasaan aku. Dan aku pula memang seorang yang pemendam, menyimpan segala nya dalam hati. Walaupun aku pernah menyatakan ape yang aku rasa, tapi tu hanya 50%. Aku tak dapat luahkan sepenuhnya.

Apa yang selalu dia buat, kini tidak lagi dilakukan nya. Adakah percintaan seperti itu? Semakin lama, semakin hambar. Semakin lama, semakin membosankan. Semakin lama, semakin tiada kesungguhan untuk teruskan perhubungan yang lebih baik.

Aku mahu kan percintaan seperti Noah dan Allie, dalam novel The Notebook. Percintaan mereka sentiasa membara walaupun sehingga tua. Noah sentiasa berusaha membuat Allie, orang yang paling dia cintai, jatuh cinta pada dia seperti mula-mula dahulu. Dia kata tidak semua orang bertuah mempunyai peluang membuat orang yang kita cintai untuk jatuh cinta kepada kita berulang kali.

Percintaan sepatutnya begitu, walaupun sebelum kahwin atau selepas kahwin, ketika muda atau tua. Tapi sekarang, sebalik nya yang aku hadapi. Aku terasa sangat dalam hati, rasa kecewa. Kadang-kadang aku rasa makin tawar hati dengan relationship ini.

Aku tidak tahu samada hubungan ini semakin bertambah baik atau tidak. Jika semakin tidak, aku berkemungkinan akan mengundur diri............................... Aku nak lindung hati ku daripada terluka lagi, aku tak mahu hati aku pecah into hundred pieces again. It really take time to collect all the pieces and put it back as it was....................

HURTS

I'm hurts now.. I just what to run away from everthing.. I just want to go some way that I can forget all my feelings.. I just............

Inside me, I'm crying, I'm crying for so long..no one know, I dont show.. but when I show all of it, I'm the most bad person..

anyone will never understand....

And that make my inside become more hurts...

Please.....please.......please......